Waiting to Love

I haven't been posting much on here lately because frankly, there hasn't been much to say. We still have not received any news regarding our adoption process, and sometimes it's difficult to maintain a positive attitude and keep hoping. I called Laura (our social worker) a few weeks ago, hoping that perhaps someone had looked at our portfolio since the last time I called, since we have now been "in the books" for over 4 months. But no one has requested ours yet.

Hearing that put me in a bit of a funk. I was praying for a Christmas miracle, that maybe we would be holding our baby in our arms by Christmas day, which is a mere 3 days away. But I guess that's not in God's plan for right now.

Recently, we received an adoption devotional type book from Show Hope, an adoption organization founded by Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. It couldn't have come at a more perfect time. As I flipped through it, I read the introduction, a few of the intial devotions and some of the fundraising ideas. And then I got to a section entitled, "Lessons from the Wait: Adoptive parents share their experiences and lessons learned from the waiting process". I was intrigued -- could there be something there that would encourage me during this dismal time of waiting? The first entry was written by David and Christine Winters, a couple who had adopted domestically. I'm going to share some of what they had to say below:

    We have two biological daughters but had considered adoption for several years. Finally, we decided to learn and earnestly pray about adopting. A year after our process had begun we received the news that a birthmother had chosen us. They weren't sure of the due date but estimated late April or early May. Of course we were waiting expectantly by mid-April.
    We waited and waited and waited. April passed into May and went on into June with no call. We began to wonder if there was a change of plan, and we became weary of always telling people we had no news. Then on June 10, a Saturday morning, we got the call, loaded the van, and left Missoula, Montana for Seattle. We drove all day, got to the hospital, walked into a room, and they handed us our son. It all happened so fast we even forgot to take our camera with us.
    The Lord stretched us to trust and wait for Him. We were constantly waiting, wondering, doubting at times, and praying. At first our family was so excited; we were guessing what day we thought we'd get the call to go get our son, Isaac. But as the weeks passed we stopped that game. We had to cancel our vacation and lose a deposit; our anniversary got no attention that year, and we made many other changes. However, it came at the Lord's perfect time. We weren't concerned about the waiting once we held our boy. Then, in the hospital, a nurse said the ultrasound had predicted a due date of June 10, the exact day of his birth, but somehow the adoption agency never knew this fact. But we know the Lord knew, and He decided we should wait. We believe the Lord prepared our hearts to love this boy in the midst of the waiting.

What a thought - that the Lord is preparing our hearts right now to love our child...even as we wait. Sometimes life is all about perspective, and there couldn't have been a better time for me to read this.

So as we celebrate our Savior's birth this weekend by giving gifts to loved ones, we will wait patiently until the Lord gives us our own little gift. And in the end we will know that during all this time, He's been preparing our hearts to love our precious child.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

....a nursery!

We have been blessed by several gifts in the past few months - not only financially, but also materially. Our baby's room is really beginning to come together!

My Mom is getting Grandma fever, I think :)...and she bought us this adorable wall cling with birdies on it! There are 2 pink and 2 blue, so we can adjust them once we know whether it's a boy or a girl! :)



This may not look any different, but our crib finally has sheets and a mattress cover!! Yay! No more bare mattress showing through! :)

Joe's sister graciously gave us her Fisher-Price Papasan chair, as she is no longer needing it. It's in great condition and looks so comfy for our little one someday!

I have recently been signing up on various sites so that I can receive coupons for baby related items: diapers, clothing, formula, bottles, etc. I was shocked a few weeks ago when I received these three samples in the mail, plus several coupons and vouchers for up to $11 off of name brand products! What a blessing! Thankfully they don't expire until February or later, so I'm praying that we become a family of three before then!

And there's even more - though I don't have pictures to show them. Things like bottles, baby spoons, receiving blankets, changing pads, extra crib sheets, towels, and so on. We have been so blessed! Not to mention the financial support we've received from several dear friends....our words could never convey our thankfulness! God is so good :)

And, since I know you're all probably wondering....there hasn't been any more "news" from LSS. We are still waiting to get a phone call. For some reason, the fact that Christmas is around the corner is making me more impatient, but I'm trusting the Lord's timing and waiting for Him to write the ending to this exciting journey. If there's any news, I'll definitely be posting it here!!

Playing Tag

Has it really been a month and a half since I posted last? Sheesh. Somebody slap my hand!

Thank you. I feel much better now... :)

I promise to have a more adoption-baby related post up soon, but for now I just have something to show up on your blog roll. :)

Daphne, a friend of mine, recently tagged me on her blog, where she answered 8 Questions about herself that someone else had asked her. And now I get to join in the fun!! If I tag you at the end, you have to do a post on your blog and answer the questions listed! Enjoy!!

1. What is your current job? And is it what you always wanted to do?  
   I currently have 2 part-time jobs. I work as a bank teller at a small town bank 2 1/2 days a week. Definitely not what I've always wanted to do. I'm the girl who bawled on a weekly basis whenever I had to do Algebra. Math and I do NOT get along. That's why I take care of other people's finances...hehehe....just kidding! :)
      My second job is teaching piano and guitar lessons from my home - or at my church. It is not what I wanted to do - at least, not when I was younger, but in college I fell in love with the idea of offering private music lessons, and I've been loving it ever since!
2. What is one day of your life you wish you could relive?This is a tough one. Probably the day I got married -- it was one of those surreal days where everything was so wonderful and seemed calm (though it really wasn't!), and very special. But....the day that I and others from my church back home played hymns and praise songs in the living room of Kathleen Olson, my dear friend who passed away a few months ago, would be a close second. I wish I had said something more to her before I left - and I would have stayed and played longer.
3. What brings you joy?Jesus! :) He is the only one who truly brings me joy, though I also find joy through loving and respecting my husband, spending time with family, playing piano, and visiting with old friends.
4. What three words do you hope people use to describe you?Faithful. Humble. Passionate.
5. What is the last movie you saw?The Visitor -- and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would! It definitely has a message regarding immigration, but I enjoyed all the music references and the acting. (And Dad -- it has a djembe in it!! :)
6. What is the purpose behind your blog?Ha! Good question! I have several purposes with my blog, to stay connected with family, to challenge myself to write more, to share my faith, and to update people on our adoption story. Lately I've been focusing more on the adoption side...since it's the easiest way to keep people updated aside from facebook! :)
7. Do you have any Thanksgiving traditions?None of my own yet. But some traditions that I enjoy with my family are: pigging out on delicious food all of Thanksgiving day, sticking my fingers in black olives before eating them off my fingers, reflecting on what I'm thankful for (sometimes by making a list, through prayer, or in a conversation with someone else), and going to a movie Thanksgiving afternoon/evening.
8. What are you most thankful for?There is nothing I am more thankful for than the work that my Savior did on the cross for a stuck-up snob like me. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is life-saving, and has changed my life in more ways than I probably even know!

Now it's your turn -- if I tag you here, then you get the wonderful opportunity to answer these questions on your blog and tag someone else!

Tag -- you're it!
1. Josie: Doctor Pistachio
2. Charity: Conidering It All Joy
3. Aimee: Mischievious Meyers
4. Corrie: Freckles...I still got 'em
5. Mom & Dad: Twenty-Five And Counting...

And your questions are:
1. What is one of your fondest childhood memories?
2. What do you love most about your spouse/significant other?
3. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
4. What is your favorite book?
5. Who is someone you look up to, and why?
6. If you had unlimited funds and could plan a dream vacation, where would you go & what would you do?
7. What character traits do you have that are most like your mother? What ones are like your father?
8. What has been the biggest challenge you've faced this year?

Enjoy!!

Rock-a-bye Baby

Our "nest" is looking more and more ready for a baby birdy to fly in! :) Today Joe tackled the job of locating screws for the crib we've had sitting in the nursery. And now it's finally put together!! My heart skipped for joy when I walked into the baby's room and saw this:

Isn't it beautiful?? :)

You can also see a glimpse of our bassinett on the floor in front of it. I might share more on that in a future post... :) But for now, I'm just content seeing our child's bed completed and ready for him/her to come home!

Now all I need is to find some sheets!

Don't Fret, My Pet

Worry.

It's something that plagues us all, doesn't it?

This morning Joe and I talked about worrying...especially in light of all the big unknown changes looming in our near future. It's a sin I've struggled with since college, and maybe even before.

Yeah, that's right. I said sin.

As we talked, Joe gave me this definition:

"To worry is to make an assumption of something that has not happened yet."

So true! When you begin to analyze why worrisome thoughts creep into the back of your mind, it all comes down to assuming that the worst is going to happen in the future. I know I've done it - and written it off as a prayer request, or necessary for preparation, or some other nonsense. Lately, though, as the timeline of our future has been one big question mark, I've been convicted of how much worrying affects me.

I can waste away an entire evening, or even a weekend worrying about a future event. And it doesn't get me any closer to solving a problem that may not even exist in the first place! Time is precious, as the death of my dear friend Kathleen has taught me, and honestly, I don't have any time to waste by fretting! As Matthew 6:27 says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" 

Worry can also skew my perspective. There have been several times in my life that I have joyfully, and naively, looked to the future. I'll be optimistically discussing a future path or decision when a well-meaning friend says, "Well, what if such and such happens?" And suddenly, I'm off kilter. Immediately I begin to grow anxious over that possibility, and try to create an emergency plan in my head for if that occurs. Is my gaze still on my Savior, trusting Him with all the intricacies of our future plan? No. I'm looking inward, hoping that I can come up with a solution to protect me from this future pothole in our plans. In fact, I may be looking so far forward that I forget to live in today! This is why Matthew goes on in verse 34 to say, "...do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So what is the solution? Well....I'm not perfect by any means, but Joe summed it up nicely for me. There are two ways we can actively fight against worry:

1. Give everything to the Lord.
This is where prayer comes in, my friends....conversing with our all-knowing Creator is the best way to relieve any worrisome thoughts. How can we fret when we're talking to the One who knows the end from the beginning?

2. Prepare
Yeah, yeah, yeah...it seems like I'm contradicting myself, but preparation in and of itself is not a bad thing! Preparation is an action. Worrying is an emotional hang up, kind of like a skipping CD - you keep turning the same things over and over in your mind, but you never get anywhere with it! Preparation is productive, and leads to things running (hopefully) smoothly.

The key is to do both. If you give it to the Lord, but don't prepare, you can miss out on opportunities the Lord may have for you. Plus, we are called to be stewards of what God has given us, which involves action, not just believing everything will turn out fine. And if you prepare, but don't give it to the Lord, you are relying on your own strength - which gives you a legitimate reason to worry! ;)

I'm the first to admit how difficult this is. I am by nature a planner...which often goes hand in hand with worrying. It's taken me a long time to get to the point that I can give something over to the Lord and trust Him with the result...and I definitely don't do it often enough! It seems that the Lord has been preparing me for some time for adoption in this way. Though I still worry (on a daily basis) about what might happen with a future birthmother, when we'll finally find the screws for the crib, or how quickly our baby will bond to us, I'm learning to lean on my ever faithful Savior, and trust Him with my hopes and dreams of the future.

And I'm better off because of it.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way, walk in it'." Isaiah 30:21

Preparing the Nest

Most of you have probably noticed the little adoption countdown I placed at the top of the page. Since we're going with a birdie theme in the nursery, I thought it would be a cute way to represent our waiting period.

And no, we haven't heard anything yet. :)

Though I've had a nagging and urgent feeling since this past weekend that we're going to receive a call any day now. Kind of weird since I haven't felt terribly impatient or anxious since getting all of our stuff turned in to LSS. Who knows, maybe we'll get a call this week! We'll just have to see.

It could also be related to the fact that I did a LOT of housework last weekend. The only way I can describe it is that I feel like I'm nesting. If you know me, you know that I'm not the type who needs to have clean windows, an organized junk drawer, or all the dust bunnies in the house to be vaccuumed up. But that's pretty much how I was over the weekend, and I still feel an urgent sense to clean, well, everything!

Who knows. Maybe there will be some news by the end of this week! Now that would be incredible.... And if we don't hear anything by the end of this month, I'll be checking in with Laura (our social worker) to see if our portfolio has gone out at all. But I would love it if I didn't even have to make that call... :)

Proud Auntie

I thought I'd take a few moments to brag about my newest nephews, Bodie and Jack :) There couldn't be two more opposite cousins, as you can see from this adorable pic of them with "Milly" below...

Yesterday we spent lots of time at Joe's parents house, and because I'm behind in taking pictures of the family, I snapped a lot of these two cuties. Born 3 months apart, they are getting spoiled rotten everytime they're around any of the aunties, and especially Grandma... :) It's so fun to kiss their little cheeks! It will be so special when our anticipated child gets added to the mix! 3 cousins less than a year apart (Lord willing)...too fun!

And, in conclusion, here's my favorite pic of the day of Bodie being his adorable self - Enjoy!! :)

The Dead, The Wicked, and Hell

Kinda morbid sounding, eh? Well, it's not what you might think!!

This past weekend, Joe and I went had a much-needed date day in The Cities. And our first stop? The Dead Sea Scrolls...

When we heard that the Dead Sea Scrolls were visiting the Science Museum, we knew we had to go see them! I mean...this is the chance of a lifetime! So, after locating a coupon that saved us $16 (Go me!), we visited the Science Museum to get a peek at the scrolls. Unfortunately, no photography was allowed (to protect the Scrolls from deteriorating too quickly), but we did get to read plenty about the caves they were found in, see lots of artifacts from those same caves, and read more about the history of the Scrolls themselves. I wish we had been able to stay longer - we were slightly rushed to get to the next thing on our agenda - but I'm glad I had the chance to see them.

After finishing up at the Science Museum, we made a mad dash to the Orpheum Theater where we had tickets to see....

"Wicked" is a musical that I've known about since college, and have been dying to see! We tried to go one other time with my parents about a year ago, but the tickets were super expensive, and our seats wouldn't have been that stellar. Joe surprised me a month ago by buying us tickets to FINALLY get to see it LIVE! I was on cloud nine, and believe me, it lived up to everything I'd dreamed it would be! The music was phenomenal and the performance was as stellar as anything on Broadway (not that I've ever seen anything on Broadway... ;) )

Here's a shot of one of the stage decorations:

It would move and the eyes would light up periodically.

Creepy.

And here's us waiting for the show to start!

(I'm not sure why Joe has the deer-in-the-headlights look...)

After the show, we began walking to our dinner reservation, but I had chosen fashion over function earlier in the day, and I was wearing heels.

Oops.

So....after a few blocks of walking (and frantically trying to hold down my skirt as the wind whipped by) and complaining, I talked Joe into stopping at the Target located downtown (How cool is that?). And so I got myself some pretty, yet functional shoes:

See how sparkly they are? :)

It was much better, let me tell ya.

Soon, we arrived at our dinner reservation - Hell's Kitchen (my apologies for the language on the sign...) 

I had heard of this place, but never been there before, and Joe was excited about it so we checked it out -- plus it had live music in the evening, so I was totally game! It has quite interesting decor (kind of on the dark and goofy side) and the food is great! We got BBQ pork nachos which come with pickles and coleslaw on top -- might sound strange, but they were addictive!! Joe got a penne pasta with lots of cheese and garlic on it that he loved and I got the BBQ pork sandwhich, though it ended up being a bit too spicy for my taste. And then we got strawberry-vanilla bean cheesecake for dessert.....yumm....

It was a fabulous day, and so special to have that much time to just have fun with my hubby. :)

Home

I guess I never got another post up here regarding the answers to prayer for Kathleen Olson, though most of you probably already saw my updates on facebook.

Kathleen is now in her true Home, singing praises in the presence of Jesus, and is without pain or worry anymore. Though it's been very difficult emotionally, I am so grateful for this woman of God who put the Lord first in all that she did. She truly has been an inspiration.

And our prayers were answered! Her children managed to arrive in time to see her, and she hung on for almost a full day after that, which I think was good for them. Her husband and kids are doing quite well, considering the circumstances, though they can still use prayer for strength and wisdom for the future and as they find the new "normal".

Thank you for all the prayers! I know they appreciate it.

A Time for Everything...

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under Heaven...  Ecclesiastes 3:1

Why is it that life's greatest joys are often accompanied by inexpressible sorrows?

As Joe and I rejoice in the little details of getting ready for our first child, it is coupled with a deadening grief over the recent news of a dear family friend of ours.

To put it succinctly, our friend, Kathleen Olson, has been battling lung cancer (though she's never smoked) for around a year now. The cancer has spread throughout most of her body, and she has been participating in numerous treatments to help alleviate the symptoms she's experienced and hopefully hold the cancer at bay.

Just a week ago (from Sunday) she and her husband led worship at our church in Iowa, but now she has been admitted to a hospice center because of her restlessness and needing more consistent care. Her husband Jeff has been by her side, and her 3 children (12 and under) will be returning from a short trip to the lake that they had over the weekend to get away.

Will you join with me in praying for their family? Here are some specific ways we can be praying:

• Healing - As always, we hope for the miracle of healing, and know that God is able to do all things, according to His infinite wisdom and mercy.
• Wisdom regarding what to do next - if Kathleen should stay in the hospice center, or be moved back home if she is stable enough.
• The Children (Jonathon, Hannah and Laura) as they return home tomorrow. When they left, Kathleen was still at home and able to communicate with them on a small level, but she has deteriorated much while they've been gone. Pray that they won't be frightened, and that the peace of Christ would be near to them. Also pray for all the decisions that will be effecting them in the future.
• Kathleen's parents. They are visiting now, and helping with all of the household chores and other "to do's". Pray for them as they see their daughter suffering, and ultimately, that they might make Christ their Savior.
• My family - My parents have been intricately involved in helping with Kathleen, watching the kids, making meals, cleaning, etc. I know that it's wearing on them emotionally and physically. Pray that they may be strong and a source of encouragement.
• Peace for everyone.

Your prayers mean so much. Thank you.

I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth... Psalm 121:1-2

We're Expecting...

But not in the traditional way.

Today our portfolio (which we finally finished! yay!) officially went "in the books". This means that we could be chosen any day now by a set of birthparents.

Can you say exciting? That doesn't even come close!!!

You have all been such a blessing to us through your encouragement, prayers and support -- thank you!! Here are some ways you can be praying specifically:

• Health - for the birthmother and the baby.
• Patience - for us as we wait to be matched. I tend to be a worry-wart and a planner, so facing the big unknown is a little out of my comfort zone. Pray that I am able to leave it all in the Lord's hands and trust His timing.
• Preparation - We have been blessed with a crib from some family friends, but there is much left to do to prepare! We will not be having a baby shower before our little one's arrival, as that will only intensify the waiting, and we want to wait until everything is finalized. However, I will be buying some diapers, onesies, formula, bottles and a few other baby items beforehand. (And I know that my mom has been picking up baby things at garage sales and the like -- she's an excited Grandma-to-be! :) ) It's all new to us, so wisdom and peace would be great in this area. :)
• Finances - Our first big adoption payment has been paid (praise the Lord!), and our second will not be due until the adoption is finalized. We have been so blessed by the generosity of friends (thank you! thank you!! thank you!!!), and we trust that the Lord will provide us with every cent we need along the way. I don't want this to become a source of worry, so again, pray that we can just trust in Jehovah Jireh, Our Provider.
• Comfort - for the birthfamily. This is a huge sacrifice and act of love on their part, and it's way harder than anything I've ever faced. Pray for a special measure of comfort, peace and hope for the family. That they wouldn't live a life of regret, but look forward in hope.
• Future - there are so many aspects in the future that are unknown...how our relationship with the birth family will be, the hospital time, the time in between the baby's birth and the adoption finalization, how we'll adjust, how the baby will bond to us, and so on! Basically, anything that you can think of -- pray for it! :)

Thank you again for holding us up in prayer! You will indeed be blessed! :)

Home Study

So I'm sure you're dying to hear how our home study went. That is, those of you that I haven't seen in the past 2 days. :) So here we go...

Laura (our social worker) showed up half an hour early...haha...not intentionally! But it did cause me to run around a little bit like a chicken with my head cut off, but it was all good. When she arrived, we finished up all the little bits of paperwork we had left to do...mostly just giving her what we had already filled out. Joe was at the computer, frantically trying to finish his autobiography so she could take it with her, and she was very understanding of that, which was nice.

After collecting our paperwork, she had me show her around the house, and she just pretty much walked into the rooms to see what it looked like, but she wasn't down on her hands and knees and "inspecting" or anything like that. So....I felt kind of silly doing all the hard work we had to clean our house - but at the same time, I was grateful that it was clean. And it's a huge load off my shoulders since I'd need to clean/organize in the future anyway.

After seeing our house, we sat and chatted for a bit and she asked if we had any questions. One main question we had was whether or not we would be able to adopt privately if someone we knew connected us with a birthmom who happened to live outside of our state. The answer is yes -- in fact, the fees drop considerably and LSS continues to work with us and the agency in the other state to make everything run smoothly. That was very encouraging!

Then, Joe finished his autobiography, and she took it hot off the printer! ;) My fabulous sister-in-law (who took our pictures with Quincy for our portfolio) had finished editing the pics the morning before Laura arrived, and so I was able to go and order prints in town quick so that Laura could take them back with her. I didn't plan on having those done by Friday originally, but it was such a relief to have that part finished!!

Now all that is left is for the rest of our references to be submitted (only 2 left - yea!), mail our finalized "Dear Birthmother Letter", and finish our portfolio (the scrapbook of our lives). Yay!! We're hoping to have all that finished in the next week or two, and then at that point, we will officially be in "the book" for birthmothers to look through. Crazy! And very cool... :)

And, as many people have been asking, here are the long awaited pics of the nursery -- painted and everything! :) Enjoy!!

We plan to have the crib where the fan and basket are now. 

And, unfortunately, I think we're going to have to trade the corner bookshelves in for something more space efficient...

 

See the lovely shag carpet on the floor of the closet? 

That's what originally covered ALL of the floor. 

Lovely, isn't it? 

We hope to get a rug to help muffle sound in the future...

OCD

I just want to say that I think even my favorite TV star Monk would be pleased with the state our house is in now... Let's just say it's clean. Very clean.

Funny how motivating one little home study can be... :)

Anywho, I will post pictures in the next week, but I just wanted to give a big thank you to my parents who came up and joined the whirlwind of chaos at our house! They did a FANTASTIC job of helping me get organized and helping us accomplish some things.

And my husband is a saint. I can't tell you the amount of work he's done this week. Simply amazing.

There were others too...helping Joe cart brush to the dump, dropping off items at the thrift store for us, lending us their painting supplies...you know who you are. Thank you, thank you, thank you....

So, our big home study is Friday at 2pm, (tomorrow, but since it's already 11:15 pm and most of you won't read this until Friday, consider it today...haha) so if you think of us, pray for us, please. I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm trusting that the Lord will guide our lips. :)

Thanks again!!

A Confession

So...I got my facts mixed up a bit regarding our education classes this weekend. I thought I had been told that they were parenting education classes...but really, they were adoption information classes, and they were GREAT! :) There were 4 other couples in the class with us, and we were able to turn in another big chunk of our paperwork which was a huge blessing!

Also...the most exciting news....we will be able to have our social worker come and do our homestudy in 2 weeks from now!!! Yahoo!! Originally, I thought we had to complete all of our paperwork before our homestudy could be finished, but apparently not!

So basically, these are the only things we have left to complete before we can be considered a "waiting family":

1. Proof of house/car insurance coverage.
2. Joe's autobiography -- thankfully, he will be working less hours next week, so he hopes to finish this up :)
3. Our letter to the birthmother -- this will be our first impression to any birthmother who comes in wanting to form an adoption plan for her child.
4. Our portfolio -- a 12 page scrapbook summing up who we are and what our lives are like.
5. Our homestudy -- which will be done in 2 weeks!!!!!

And that's it! :)

I tell ya, it's absolutely exhilirating...

We had the opportunity to talk to several adoptive families who came in with their kids and shared their stories over the weekend. It's amazing how each one is completely different. I can't wait to see how the Lord orchestrates our story! :)

Other things we discussed in our education classes:

• Transracial adoption -- being prepared for inappropriate comments, different types of skin/hair care needs, etc.
• What to expect at our first "match meeting" (This is when we meet the birthmother who has chosen us for the first time).
• Glimpses of what the process is like emotionally for birthmothers (this was heartwrenching...)
• How to talk about adoption with your child.
• How to bond with your child and help them adjust to a new home

And so much more...

Needless to say, we are getting very excited -- and scared to death -- as we approach the "waiting" period. The next 2 weeks will be a flurry of activity as we try to clean our house, paint the soon-to-be-baby's room, finish Joe's autobiography, and at least start our portfolio.

Here's how you can be praying:

• Persistence - as we try to finish up our paperwork and get things done around our house. As I speak, Joe is tilling up our garden so that our backyard will look presentable (finally....).
• Wisdom - as we write our letter to the birthmother and begin our portfolio. Thankfully, I was able to see quite a few portfolio examples, and I think I have a good idea of where to start and what I want to do with ours! But it's a daunting task...
• Our vehicle situation - We are still searching for a replacement for Joe's car, though right now, that's not at the top of our list. Even if we don't find one before a baby is placed in our home, that's ok. We trust that the Lord will provide us with what we need, when we need it.
• Birthmother/father - As always, we pray for the woman we will have the honor to meet someday. Please pray that she is safe and makes wise choices for herself and her baby.

As always, thank you so much for your prayers! We look forward to telling our baby how many people were praying for him/her someday... :)

Parenting Pointers

As a part of our adoption process, we are required to attend 2 days of education classes.

In otherwords, 2 days of parenting pointers. :)

Thursday and Friday will be our days of classes, so we'd appreciate your prayers. I'm not really sure what to expect, but I'm actually quite excited about it! We plan to bring another batch of completed paperwork, which means one step closer to our home study! Yippee!!

Here are a few prayer requests:

• Specifically,  that the Lord provides us with a Christian couple to connect with while we're in our education classes. (Preferably someone close to where we live...but I don't want to be too picky. :) )
• Wisdom in answering questions. Neither Joe nor I excel in answering questions when we're put on the spot, and I have a feeling there may be some of that happening this weekend.
• Continue to pray for the birthmother who will choose us in the future...that she would be safe and make wise decisions regarding her baby (whether she's pregnant now or not).
• Continued wisdom in pursuing adoption grants, etc. Most financial assistance is offered at the completion of a home study. Obviously we're not to this point yet, but I still want to be scoping out the options for the future...

Thank you so much for your continued support and prayers, we appreciate it so much!!

Facebook vs. Blogosphere

Just trying to get some feedback....as I continue to post adoption updates and other blogs, would you prefer that I have the blogs imported directly to facebook where you can read them there? Or post a link as my facebook status so that you can read it in blogger?

Laundry Lament

Yesterday I went to do a load of laundry, but couldn't find the detergent anywhere! At first I thought I was just looking for the wrong shape -- I'm currently using Purex 3-in-1 laundry sheets, and they come in a box rather than a bottle (It's a laundry sheet that contains detergent as well as fabric softener and transfers from the washing machine to the dryer). After searching for several minutes, I finally asked Joe if he knew where the detergent-sheets had gone. He had no idea either. Confused, I decided to use a detergent sampler that I had received in the mail, since I was buying more detergent later in the week.

About an hour later, when I went to transfer the load from the wash to the dryer, guess what I found?

Only the entire box of laundry sheets....guess that load will be extra clean!! :)

stream of consciousness

I'm imitating one of my favorite blogger's styles by having a "stream of consciousness" post. All this means is that I have a bunch of random thoughts in my head, and they may or may not make sense when put into words... :) So, here goes!

Regarding our adoption paperwork -- we still have plenty left to do, but I now feel like we've made a lot of headway by finishing all our questionnaires last night! Talk about a burden being lifted! I was so excited we got them done! Everything else seems small in comparison...Now we just have to start tackling our 4 page autobiographies....*gulp* Pray for clear minds - and that I won't be too wordy! I have a bit of a problem with wordiness.... :)

In other news -- Joe's car decided to poop out on us a few weeks ago. We took it to the shop for a routine oil change and asked them to check out a funky noise it was making on the back left side -- turned out it needed $1000 worth of repairs! Between a leaking/thinning gas tank, a bad strut, and a few other things that I can't remember, it all added up to more than the vehicle itself was worth. So....we decided to look for a family vehicle (used) that wil be in our price range, hopefully. We are praying that the Lord guides us to the right vehicle, and that we have the wisdom to know if it's a good buy or not!

Over Memorial Weekend we went to Iron Sharpens Iron, a conference that my alma mater has every year. This year's topic was "The Quest for Holiness", and Joe and I came home encouraged and spurred on in our walks with the Lord. It seemed only appropriate to me that we would be challenged to pursue holiness in our daily lives as we're pursuing adoption. When you think about all the parallels between God adopting us as His children, and us adopting a baby to be our child, you can begin to see the connection....(I hope to do a post on this sometime soon...as it really is mind blowing...)

And I guess I'm giving up on my whole "Fervent Friday" idea...oh well. I tried. :) I'll probably still post song lyrics every now and then, so we'll just take it as it comes. :)

The End. :)

Waist deep

A lot of people have been asking us how our adoption process is going lately, and we're always excited to share what's going on! Currently, we are still waist deep in the paperwork process. This week we plan to send out all the papers we have completed so far, as well as our application fee. I think it will help me feel like we've made a dent in some of our paperwork when it's not all still stuffed in our folder! :)

In addition to signing our name a million times, getting physicals done, and deciding who to put down as our references, a chunk of our time has been devoted to answering questions - about everything.

My mom and I were talking about some of the questions recently and how strange it is to have to explain to someone your philosophy on parenting and how you plan to raise your children before you can be "approved" or chosen to be a parent. Especially in today's society, where so many people become parents without much of a plan beforehand. It's surreal, really...and difficult to explain unless you've gone through the process yourself. Even answering a simple question can be deeply analyzed - Will this be taken the wrong way? Will we not be chosen by a birthmother if we put down that we believe that spanking is an appropriate form of punishment? Do they even know what an AWANA program is? Should I describe myself in mostly positive terms or some negative terms too? And how do I do all of this without going crazy?!?!

So, to help some of you who may wonder what kinds of questions are asked when you go to adopt, I've included a "short" list below. :) How would you answer these questions?

• What is your motivation for adoption?
• What are your attitudes toward birthparents?
• What are your strengths/weaknesses?
• How would you describe yourself?
• What attracted you to your spouse?
• What are the strengths that you bring to your marriage? What are the strengths your spouse brings to the marriage?
• Describe your roles in the marriage. Who assumes responsibility for what?
• What are the areas of your marriage that need the greatest amoung of attention?
• What experiences have you had that will prepare you for parenting?
• What are the expectations and values you have for your children?
• Describe characteristics of an ideal home environment.
• What form of discipline do you use or expect to use?
• Are there any circumstances where you feel that physical discipline is appropriate? If so, under what circumstances?
• How will you talk with your child about adoption?
• What faith do you plan to raise your children?

And these were just on the general questionnaire!! There are 2 additional questionnaires to fill out if you are open to adopting a child of a different race. Maybe I'll include some of those questions on a diferent post...

A Joyful Heart is Good Medicine

One of the best (and worst) things about adopting is hearing comments from different people. So far we've been blessed with mostly positive comments, which I am very thankful for! I thought I'd share one that particularly stuck out to me the other day...

Recently I made the mistake of filling out an online survey saying that I was possibly interested in pursuing more education some day. I wasn't being very serious when I took the survey, and didn't think that it would result in anything!

Well, it turns out that they do take that seriously. I received phone calls about 6 times a day from different schools trying to talk me into entering their program. For a while I was ignoring any calls I didn't recognize, but then I finally decided that I'd just talk to them and tell them I wasn't interested anymore. Usually, the spiel went something like this:

College Counselor Person: I'm calling from such-and-such a college and we saw that you recently filled out a survey indicating that you are interested in our so-and-so program, is that correct?

Me: Well, I was only slightly interested at the time that I filled out the survey, but right now I don't think it's going to work because we are pursuing adoption and I won't have the time or money for schooling.

College Counselor Person: Oh, I see. Well, if you ever decide to further your education, please keep such-and-such a college in mind for your future. Thank you so much. Goodbye.

To be honest, I was surprised that it usually went so quickly! But yesterday's conversation had a joyful twist....

When I mentioned that we were pursuing adoption, instead of giving me the generic "Oh, I see" answer, he exclaimed, "That's great! Congratulations!" And then went on to ask if we were adopting an infant and if it would be a boy or girl. I chatted with him for a bit and before he said goodbye he encouraged me to keep things as open as possible and said that he was very happy for us and wished us the best.

It was such an unexpected blessing in my day to have this complete stranger be excited for us...and it really put a smile on my face and on Joe's when I shared it with him!

A Conglomeration Happenings

I promised you all an update, and here it is finally!! This is what's been going on in our household over the past few weeks...I've tried to title each separate section so it doesn't seem like a big random run-on post... :)

Honk the Musical
As I mentioned in this post, I helped out with our local school's production of "Honk: A Musical Tale of the Ugly Duckling" at the end of April. And as mentioned, I had a great time doing it, however, what some of you may not have known, is that it caused a bit of a problem with my arms. It turns out that learning 1.5 hours of musical accompaniment (which, by the way, was written in the most difficult keys and had about 5 key changes per song) and getting it polished enough to perform it a little over a month later is a little bit hard on your arms. I was having shooting pain up my arms and into my shoulders, as well as achiness in my hands and wrist, which made playing just a bit difficult. To be honest, it had me completely freaking out. But, praise the Lord, one of my students has a sister who suffered from similar symptoms in the past, and was able to recommend that I soak my arms, alternating between hot and cold water. And though it didn't take away the pain completely, it made it much more bearable. Now they're almost back to normal, for which I am very thankful.

Quincy
We still find our dog to be a joy! (With the exception of the occasional poop accidents in the living room and destroying even the most indestructible of toys) He remains mild-mannered and semi-trained. And sometimes we wonder if he's part cat...

Adoption!! (the most important update of all!)
My last post about our adoption process described it as a bit of a stand still. Well....we have made major progress since then, of which I am overjoyed to share with you!!

Joe and I prayed (and so did many others -- thank you!) that the Lord would lead us to the right decision regarding an adoption agency, changing types of adoption, or moving. And, as always, the Lord came through. :)

A few weeks ago, I was having a "downer" day, and had decided to call around to see if I could find an adoption lawyer who could maybe work with us privately. The first one I talked to highly recommended that we pursue an agency, and then spent a lot of time telling me things that I was already aware of. But he was nice, so I won't hold it against him. :) His recommendation was Catholic Charities, but we just didn't feel good about supporting a Catholic organization. Next on my list was to call Lutheran Social Services, an agency my mom told me she had heard good things about.

From the moment I began talking with Laura, I was hooked. She was so friendly and helpful and WE WERE IN HER SERVICING AREA!!! As she explained the process we would need to go through and how it all works, she mentioned to me that at this point, there were no people on their waiting list. Which is highly unusual since usually they have so many people waiting that they have to draw family names randomly out of a hat to determine who will actually get into the program.

Well. Let's just say that I know why there were no people on the waiting list...cuz my God is THAT BIG, that's why! :)

Needless to say, I set up an appointment to meet with her only 2 days later at their office (which is about 1.5 hours from where we live). It was great. She explained a little more in detail and encouraged us to take our time in making our decision...that it isn't a decision that should be rushed into. I agreed with her, and then commented: "I know you said this shouldn't be rushed into...but we've been waiting and praying about this for a long time...so I know our answer is yes!" And the best part? She was cool with that! We left that day with not only a general packet on adoption, but also a packet of paperwork that needed to be completed, as well as information regarding our homestudy.

And let me tell you. It is a PILE of paperwork. I've been working on it as much as I can since we got it, and I still don't feel like I've made much of a dent in it. Oh well.

At this point, my goal (as unrealistic as it may be) is to get all of our paperwork done (and maybe even our homestudy?!?) by the end of June so that things can start moving forward! Laura told us that the waiting time is usually 12-18 months approximately, but it can be shorter when you're a couple without children.

Score for us! :)

So, once again, we covet your prayers as we push forward! Here are some specific ways you can pray:

• That we don't lose any of the paperwork! I doubt that we will, but I'm super paranoid that this might accidentally happen. Pray that the Lord's angels keep everything together!!
• For clarity of mind in answering the gazillions of questions we have to answer. Some of them are things neither of us have thought through much before, and it's difficult to form an articulate thought on the matter.
• Along that same line, especially pray for Joe. Writing your thoughts clearly is not something Joe has ever enjoyed doing, and it can be a bit of a struggle for him. Pray that he can clearly explain his thoughts and that we avoid conflict as we work at it as a team!
• Pray for guidance in pursuing financial support through grants and scholarships. I know there are many out there, but I'm not sure where to start. Pray for wisdom, please.
• And finally (obviously), pray for the birthmother that we will be in contact with someday. Pray for her salvation and that she might be able to make wise choices for herself and the baby.

Thanks so much, everyone!! :)

I'm baaaaack!! :)

Whoops...this never posted yesterday like it was SUPPOSED to. Sorry about that!!


Well, the high school production of "Honk" that I was involved in is now done. And though I had a great time participating and meeting new people, I'm very thankful that it's over now! Lots of time....lots of stress...but well worth it! :)


Anywho. I'll have more of an update post coming soon...but since today is Friday, I thought I'd get back into my Fervent Friday posting. I came across a video of a Sovereign Grace song called "The Prodigal" - not at all what I was planning on posting this Friday...but it moved me so much by watching it that I wanted to share it with you here. (I first saw it over at Bob Kauflin's worship blog)

Enjoy!

Fervent Friday

I've been a little busy lately, in case you couldn't come from my lack of posting on any day other than a Friday... :) For those of you who don't know, I was asked to accompany for the high school's spring musical, ("Honk") and the rehearsals and my private practicing is taking up ALL of my time. :) At least it's fun!

Today's song reminds me of how important it is to rely on Him to get me through each and every day, no matter how crazy my schedule is. Enjoy! :)

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.
I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;

Temptations lose their pow’r when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.


I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is vain.
I need Thee every hour; Lord, teach me Thy will;

And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
Oh, make me Thine indeed, Thou blessed Son.
 
I need Thee, oh, I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
Oh, bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

Fervent Friday

Today's song is a classic old hymn that we sing frequently at our church. But Caedmon's Call recorded this song in a way that sounds more upbeat and yet full of longing....it's one of my favorites. Enjoy! :)

I am Thine, oh Lord,

I have heard Your voice

And it told Your love to me.

But I long to rise in the arms of faith

And be closer drawn to Thee.

Draw me nearer,

To the cross where Thou hast died.

Draw me nearer,

To Your precious bleeding side.

Draw me nearer...

There are great depths of love that I cannot know

'Till I cross the narrow sea.

There are heights of joy that I may not reach

Til I rest in peace with Thee.

Draw me nearer,

To the cross where Thou hast died.

Draw me nearer,

To Your precious bleeding side.

Draw me nearer...

You draw me with Your mercy,

You draw me with Your love,

You draw me with forgiveness by Your blood.

You draw me with compassion,

You draw me as a bride,

You draw me closer to Your precious side.

Consecrate me now to Your service, Lord,

By the Power of grace divine.

Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope

And my will be lost in Thine.

Draw me nearer,

To the cross where Thou hast died.

Draw me nearer,

To Your precious bleeding side.

Draw me nearer...

-Caedmon's Call-

Perplexed

Have you ever prayed for God to make a foggy decision more clear?

Have you ever been impatient with God for taking "forever" when it's really only been a few days?

Have you ever had God answer your prayer, but not in the way you want?

Have you ever blamed people for the outcome of a situation, rather than looking at it as God's direction?

I've done all of these things...just today, as a matter of fact. As you all know, we've been pursuing adoption and all the decisions that it requires. After much deliberation and prayer, we had finally decided on Bethany Christian Services and going the route of domestic adoption.

Well.

That may have changed today.

To make a long story short, because of us living on the border of MN and WI, we can't go to the office that is closer to us (in MN) because you have to go to the office of the state you reside in. Except that the WI office won't accept us because we live too far away. (They do make exceptions in the case of international adoptions, in which case a social worker travels to do some of the work.)

So...are you confused yet?

At this point, it appears that we need to switch agencies - or switch programs. Or maybe God wants us to do something completely different and out of our comfort zone - who knows!

In addition to this, we've been toying with the idea of moving back across the border into MN, since we will probably be needing a larger home in the future anyway.

That makes 2 major life-changing decisions, in case you weren't counting.

Which brings up the question - should we switch agencies if we're going to be moving to MN and can work with Bethany Christian Services then? And if we wait until we move...how long will that take? And am I willing to prolong this process more than necessary? And can I handle putting my house up for sale and adopting a child at the same time??

 So, with all that said, will you please pray for us?

• Pray that we are willing to seek God's plan, not our own.
• Pray for patience -- as much as I hate to ask for it, because we all know that means the Lord will give us things to be patient about! :)
• Pray that some of our questions can be answered -- as far as possibly putting our house for sale, and all the details.
• Pray for us to not be discouraged by a closed door, but to rejoice in the fact that the Lord is leading us along the path He has for us.
• Continue to pray for our future child and our relationship with the birth family.

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body." 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

Puppy's Plight

Well.

Any guesses on what happened here?? (The title is a clue...)

Fervent Friday

Today's song choice has been in my head and heart a lot lately with all of our adoption plans.

And speaking of adoption plans...let me give a little update. :)

We finally made up our mind on which type of adoption to pursue. (If you're not sure what I'm talking about, check out this post of mine) And that choice is........domestic! Though we both want to adopt internationally someday, logistically, domestic is the best choice for us for right now.

However, we did find out that the Bethany Christian Services office 2 hours away from us will be unable to service us because it is not in the state we live in. And our state has more requirements.

Cuz they're all nice like that. :)

We will continue to work with them, though, it will just involve a 4.5 hour drive every now and then. :) Last night, Joe and I filled out our preliminary application, so hopefully things will begin to pick up!

Can you tell I'm a little anxious and impatient? And it's only the beginning....there will be much more waiting to come.

Hence today's song choice. And it's even in video form to please all those visual learners out there. :) Enjoy!!

Fervent Friday

Today I want to share the lyrics to a song that have been in my head all week. I'm sure it has something to do with going to our adoption meeting last week and feeling a little anxious about all the big decisions looming ahead of us. It's a wonderful thing to know that I can trust completely in my Maker. The One who is in control of the HUGE things like gravity, placement of stars and nations, is also looking after little ol' me.

What a wondrous thought!

This is off the album "Come Weary Saints", put out by *Sovereign Grace Ministries. If you'd like to hear how it sounds, you can listen to a portion of it here.

*If you haven't looked into Sovereign Grace's ministry or their music - check it out! It's solid stuff.

"So I Will Trust You"
Almighty Maker, Universe Shaper
You put the stars into space
Yet You descneded, You have befriended
Those who have hated Your name, just like me

King of Glory, I know You love me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust You.
God Almighty, You have saved me,
So I will trust You, yes I will trust in You

Lord over nations, King of creation,
Heaven and earth bow to You.
I am Your child, I've been reconciled
With tender affection You drew me to You

King of Glory, I know You love me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust You.
God Almighty, You have saved me,
So I will trust You, yes I will trust in You

How could I not trust my King,
The One who has formed me and shaped me.
I will rejoice and will sing
For the One who has made me has saved me

King of Glory, I know You love me
So I will trust You, yes I will trust You.
God Almighty, You have saved me,
So I will trust You, yes I will trust in You

The thrill of the hunt

If there's one thing that gets my heart pumping, it's getting a good bargain. I often come home from shopping with my coupons only to exclaim to Joe, "Guess how much I spent on this?!", and then continue to wax on about what a great deal it was, or how I could use double coupons or whatever.

Yes, I'm a nerd. But hey! It saves us money!

Anywho...

With spring around the corner, my mind has turned to the thoughts of garage sales. I have fond memories of going garage sale-ing with my mom or grandparents through most of my childhood and adolescence. You never know what you'll find! In fact, some major household items in our home were bought at a garage sale (our kitchen table, chest freezer, etc).

In our area, the month of May is every garage-sale-lover's dream come true. 100 miles of garage sales...all on the same weekend! It is because of this amazing ritual that I rarely go bargain hunting throughout the summer. I can get it all done in one weekend! :)

And now on to the real point of this post...

In past years, whether I'm hosting a garage sale or going to one, I have always noticed the tables upon tables of baby clothes, booties and other accessories, not to mention like-new cribs, swings, walkers, toys, books, etc. etc.

And yesterday, I realized that this will be the first year I can actually look for some of that stuff.

*Insert face-splitting grin*

 I can't wait!

Fervent Friday

Starting today, each Friday I will be sharing the lyrics from a favorite song or hymn of mine. I've decided to name it "Fervent Friday". (I thought everyone's suggestions on facebook and here were great! I just ended up choosing something completely different. :) Hope you all understand!!)

fervent - adjective

1. having or showing great warmth or intensity of spirit, feeling, enthusiasm, etc.; ardent: a fervent admirer; a fervent plea 
2. hot, burning, glowing

I know that by the end of the week I am often worn out and looking forward to the weekend - to rest and relaxation! I often don't want to clean my house, read my Bible or start gathering the info for our taxes (yikes!) on that day just because I want to be lazy. However, our love for the Savior and desire to please Him should never fade or die, but should be intense, fiery, fervent. (Hence the title. :) )

Music often inspires me in a way that not much else can, and sometimes simple lyrics put to a beautiful tune can set my heart aright on a terrible day. So, to kick-off Friday, here's a hymn that I grew to love while in college. I remember singing it during our morning chapel time and it soon became a favorite during our periodic evening hymn-sings. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Spirit of God, descend upon my heart;
Wean it from earth, through all its pulses move;
Stoop to my weakness, mighty as Thou art,
And make me love Thee as I ought to love.

Hast Thou not bid us love Thee, God and King?
All, all thine own, soul, heart and strength and mind;
I see Thy cross there teach my heart to cling:
O let me seek Thee, and O let me find.


Teach me to feel that Thou art always nigh;
Teach me the struggles of the soul to bear,
To check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh;
Teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.


Teach me to love Thee as Thine angels love,
One holy passion filling all my frame;
The baptism of the heav'n-descended Dove,
My heart an altar, and Thy love the flame.

Written by George Croly

"Red and Yellow, Black and White...

...they are precious in His sight - Jesus loves the little children of the world!"

Tonight, Joe and I went to an adoption meeting. It was so incredible, emotional, and inspiring I can hardly express it all here! The meeting was sponsored by Bethany Christian Services, an adoption agency we've become acquainted with through a family at our church.

I've been hesitant to talk about it much, only because there was some confusion about state-to-state issues for us, but it sounds like these will be able to be worked through. Yippy! Baby, here we come!

We heard information on both domestic (within the U.S.) and international (outside of the U.S., obviously) adoption. Aside from almost bursting into tears several times (I just can't believe we're actually going to be doing this!!), I felt both elated and terrified. (It's such a strange thought to think about possibly choosing your own child...) Joe and I are open to either kind of adoption....we just need to pick one and go with it.

Unfortunately, Joe and I suck at making decisions.

But our future family is at stake here -- so make a decision we will!! If you think of it, would you mind praying for us? Here are some specific prayer requests as we enter this new journey:

• Wisdom to know which form of adoption would be the best for us to pursue. There are so many pro's and con's to both types that it's a bit mind boggling! The decision is made even more difficult by the fact that we would love to do either and/or both kinds of adoption some day. So which one do we start with?
• Diligence on our part in filling out applications and forms and staying on top of things. I've felt terribly slothful lately, but I don't want to waste time as we enter this new phase, especially since we'll be doing a lot of waiting as it is.
• The birthmother and our future child. While we don't know whether our child is even conceived yet, we do want to pray that he/she is able to grow up healthy and is able to bond to us when we become their forever family. As well, we want to be in prayer for the birthmother (whether she is pregnant yet or not) that she would have the strength to do what's best for her child and that she might have someone to come alongside her to help her through this.

Thank you so much! I plan to update on our adoption status periodically, so you can be watching for more related posts!

Poll the Audience

I've been contemplating a weekly "scheduled" blog post. But I need some help. I can't decide what to call it! :) I'm hoping that having something scheduled each week will "force" me to post more regularly...but we'll see how that goes. Ha! :)

Anywho...my goal is to share some song lyrics at least once a week...either those that have touched my heart, some that have rich theology, or maybe just a few of my favorites. I might even get risky and try to post some music videos of some of them...but we'll see how ambitious I get. :)

So here are my ideas so far...but I'll admit, I don't really like any of them. They're all kinda cheesy. But if one of you particularly likes one, or even better, has a suggestion(!) then by all means, let me know in the comments!! Here goes:

Music-lover's Mondays
Tuneful Tuesdays/Thursdays
Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus (again for a Tuesday or Thursday)
Worshipful Wednesdays
Faithful Fridays
Forte Fridays
Fridays are for Fermatas

Happy brainstorming! :)

Doing what God wants

Tonight, Joe and I watched "Julie & Julia", a really sweet movie about Julia Child. At one point in the movie, Julia Child receives a letter from her sister, who has just found out that she's pregnant. Though Julia tries to stay strong, she breaks down into tears over the unfairness of it all as her husband holds her in his arms. She exclaims, "I'm so happy for her!" yet her body shakes with sobs.

I couldn't help but know exactly how that felt. In fact, as Joe glanced at me to make sure I was doing ok, I looked back at him and said, "I know how that feels. It sucks."

Have I mentioned that both of my sister-in-law's are pregnant?

Well, you can imagine that I reacted the exact same way as Julia did.

It has now been 2 1/2 years since we went off of birth control and began to actually try to have a family. One miscarriage later, we're still waiting. And though it's painful and "sucks", I don't expect the world to stop turning just because I can't have the baby I so desperately long for. People will continue to get pregnant. People will continue to have babies. Lots of them. And that's ok. This is where God has me, and it's His perfect plan for me.

Joe and I recently began reading the book "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. It has been challenging my perception of God's will, and reaffirming the fact that all of the things that have happened in the last year have had a purpose.

As Kevin talked about I Thessalonians 4:3 ("For this is the will of God, your sanctification."), I began to feel joy creep into my heart. Here's what he wrote:

"He [God] wants you to buy a house that will make you holy. If you marry, He wants you to get married so you can be holy. He wants you to have a job that will help you grow in holiness. Count on it: God's will is always your sanctification. He has set you and me apart that we would grow to be more like Christ." (emphasis mine)

What a relief! Though I've never thought of God as some sort of sadistic entity, seeking to cause me pain on a daily basis, I have at times wondered what in the world God is doing. Why is he preventing me from getting pregnant? What is the point of my unexplained infertility? Why is He allowing everyone else to get pregnant all around me? Why did he take away the one child I did get pregnant with? Why, why, why???

Because He longs to make me loving, pure, and humble like Christ. In a word, he wants me to be holy.

During the movie, a friend of mine called, wanting to make sure I was doing ok since she had heard about both of my SIL's being pregnant. She too is struggling with over a year's worth of infertility and all the different stages of grief that you go through. At one point in the conversation she commented, "Well, maybe we'll always be childless spinsters...but at least we'll be doing what God wants." I was struck by her faith in a dark time. I don't know that I could have honestly said that a year ago. But it's true - God's plan is so much better for us than our own.

And I'm eager to live it.

It's Not Delivery...It's DiGiorno

When I read Fiddledeedee's DiGiorno giveaway post, it made me think of a little mishap we had with one of our DiGiorno pizza's a few months ago...

Before I begin, you must know that my husband's absolute favorite food in the whole entire world is pizza. He could literally eat it every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and one of his favorite brands of pizza is DiGiorno.

So...we had decided to have a pizza for dinner. A DiGiorno pizza, since it was a special night, eating at home and all. :) Anywho...I offered to pop it in the pizza oven so we could get to eating our "nutritious" meal.

So....I set the pizza oven timer* to the normal length of time, 13 minutes or so, and went about checking my email and whatnot waiting for dinner to be ready.
*(Before I go on, let me note that I always use a timer when baking or doing laundry. In fact, Joe mocks me often for this tendency and can't understand why I don't "just remember it". Ha! This was a good learning lesson for him... )

After the timer ding-ed, I checked on it, and the cheese wasn't even melted completely, let alone golden brown. So I reset the timer for another 7-10 minutes, thinking I would check it half-way through just in case.

Well. Remember when I said that I can't "just remember"?? ;)

So...when the timer ding-ed the second time, I went to retrieve the pizza and it was....black. Burnt to a crisp.

I gasped. And prayed that my husband wouldn't smell the burning cheese.

I did finally tell him.....quite sheepishly, and he indeed was upset. "You burnt a DiGiorno pizza?!?!?? A DiGiorno pizza??!! Those are the best!!!"

*Sigh* At least we had more in the freezer...

Strange...

It's strange when you feel glum about something, but can't put your finger on it.

That's how I felt today...just kind of distant and sad. It was odd because today was the first Saturday in months that I had absolutely nothing going on. I could sleep in, work out, organize, waste time, watch movies, do laundry, and surf the net as much as my little heart desired. So why did I feel so....sad?

Joe and I were talking about it on our way to my nephew's 6th birthday party when it hit me -- a year ago from yesterday was when we found out we were pregnant with our Hopie. It was a miraculous day - filled with tears and shock and laughter, looking forward to meeting the new life the Lord had blessed us with. And a year ago from today was spent at my nephew's 5th birthday party, where Joe and I exchanged secret smiles with each other as we knew something no one else knew.

Strange.

Strange that it's been a year already, when sometimes it feels like it was only weeks ago.

Strange that my nephew's birthday will now always carry a little bit of sorrow in my heart, remembering the sweet Hope we once had.

Strange that I had somehow forgotten this, and couldn't pinpoint the source of my sadness.

Strange.

So as I remember the joy and excitement that being a mother brought me by re-reading this post and this post, I will also cling to my Savior - the source of my comfort and a close companion to me through the awfulness of the past year.

"Though He slay me, I will hope in Him..." (Job 13:15)

It's a Dog's Life...

Today was bath day for our pup, Quincy, and he wasn't too thrilled about it. He sat there quietly all through his bath, with the exception of jumping out once while Joe was distracted and trying to make a sudsy escape...

After he's cleaned, he likes to sit on his bed (that he's trying to destroy, if you note the left corner of his bed) and look at us forlornly. Kind of like this:

I offered to help dry him with my hair dryer, but he wanted nothing to do with that, and even Joe thought I was being mean.

*sigh*

It's a dog's life...