Beauty from Pain

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am, at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, I still will remain
After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

--Superchick "Beauty from Pain"

I know I'm behind on posting....but I wanted to share the lyrics to this song. It's been meaning more and more to me lately. Hopefully I'll have a "real" post soon...

How do YOU eat YOUR nuggets?

Do you line your chicken nuggets up like this??


Well...my Lovey does!
Can we say Obsessive Compulsive?? ;)
Love you, Sweets!! :)

Family Tragedy Strikes!

My family loves ice cream.

I mean....they really love ice cream.

So you can imagine the shock and horror we endured when we this morbid scene took place during our traditional stop at a small town ice cream shop.

That's ice cream on the floor there, folks. Chocolate ice cream.
A big fave amongst the best of us.

Especially my sister.

Just check out her facial expression!!!

And why in the world my Mom and Aunt Linda appear so cheery
in the middle of an ice cream CRISIS is beyond me.

Seriously.


However, the picture below captures how the majority of us felt in our hearts...

Thankfully, the staff and manager were able to get the
majority of the mess cleaned up while still taking our orders.

I guess ice cream just gives you power like that.

Burdened.

Tonight I feel burdened with the need to pray. So much has been going on in my own life and in the lives of those around me...it just breaks my heart to see the pain and suffering some of them have to go through.

Recently, my cousin and his wife suffered through their first miscarriage. I was slightly surprised at how much emotion it dredged up in me. Although I was slightly jealous of them for being pregnant with the first great-grandchild in the family, I would never ever wish a miscarriage on them. I wept when I found out....

Then, just a week ago, another dear friend of mine went through a miscarriage -- only 5 months after delivering a daughter still-born. Again...my heart felt like it was being wrenched out of my chest. I could do nothing but grieve and pray with and for them...

Youth group has been wearing on me emotionally as well. There have been several fights between some of the girls -- over very petty, superficial things. Things that they should know better than to fight about. I've had to have difficult discussions with some of them. I've been the big bad mean youth leader and had to enforce the rules. I've heard some horrible background stories from some of their lives. I've needed to be informed about awkward and shocking scenarios that happened in a Christian setting. Ugh. I wish I could just ground them all until they are ready to behave! But I can't. I can just pray.

There's been a cancer scare with one of my close friends. Tests will be happening soon to find out more information. It's unnerving...

I have a terribly irritating co-worker who I have to pray about constantly when I work with her. So that I don't yell. Or lock her in the vault at the bank. Or worse...

Baby Stellan, who I've mentioned before here, is going through some awful SVT times again. I can't imagine the struggle this must be for their family...

The Lord has really been impressing on me the importance of loving others -- truly loving them as Christ does. And, as it usually happens when the Lord convicts you of something, He has been showing me every way I have been failing in this area. Depressing. Discouraging.

My husband is laid off from his job, and has been since the beginning of May. There seems to be less and less of a chance of his company hiring him back at the end of the summer like we had originally hoped.

And, as always, my womb and my arms are empty. The ache of losing Hopie never goes away...and the wound is reopened every time another sweet friend gets pregnant or I start my cycle again. I'm still happy for them. It's just....hard.

However, as we've been studying in our Bible study recently, struggles are to be expected when you're a soldier for the Lord. I Peter 4:12 says:

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation."

And we are not without hope. All our hope is in the Lord. And He willingly carries all of our burdens, no matter how trivial or small. He alone can be trusted with them.

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh...Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:7-11, 16-18

Ketchup!

I promised a "ketchup" post last time, so here it is -- what's been going on here at our place since April...

During a college preview week at my alma mater, Emmaus Bible College, my good friend Charissa wanted to take pictures of me as a special gift for Joe. However, that gift has yet to be given to him...but I'm working on it! Here are a few of the shots, though not necessarily my favorites. The rest can be viewed here:






In the beginning of June, we had a Girls Nite with our youth group girls to talk about the touchy topic of modesty. We made yummy smoothies, laughed, played games, and painted our toenails and ended with a devotional on honoring the Lord in the way we dress. I don't know how much it impacted their hearts, but it went smoothly and we pray the Lord continues to use our words. Here's the gang below:



Later that month, I went on a second girls outing -- with several ladies from our Bible Study plus a few extra. We went to a very relaxing and refreshing cabin, it was so wonderful!


We also were blessed to see some incredibly beautiful sunsets...



Next was an energy packed trip to Valleyfair with the youth group! I even braved the Power Tower! A fun time was had by all :)

We finished out June with a family vacation to northern MN with the rest of my extended family - at least all that could be there. We enjoyed our time sleeping, eating s'mores, taking pictures, playing poker, hiking, roasting marshmallows, watching Fiddler on the Roof and talking, of course! It was a weekend I will cherish forever...

Listening to Grandpa's reminiscing...

Hiking Buddies!!

Mom Surprised me with her Poker Prowess!

Recently, we had a family reunion at a park near us with Joe's side of the family. I used the time to experiment more with my camera and got quite a few adorable shots of my nephews and niece, as well as others!

Tanner's my silly buddy :)

Sutton has a way with the women in our family!

Precious brother and sister!

Tanner loves his Uncle!

Laina is the little princess of the family :)

And that brings us up to date!