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I guess I never got another post up here regarding the answers to prayer for Kathleen Olson, though most of you probably already saw my updates on facebook.

Kathleen is now in her true Home, singing praises in the presence of Jesus, and is without pain or worry anymore. Though it's been very difficult emotionally, I am so grateful for this woman of God who put the Lord first in all that she did. She truly has been an inspiration.

And our prayers were answered! Her children managed to arrive in time to see her, and she hung on for almost a full day after that, which I think was good for them. Her husband and kids are doing quite well, considering the circumstances, though they can still use prayer for strength and wisdom for the future and as they find the new "normal".

Thank you for all the prayers! I know they appreciate it.

Burdened.

Tonight I feel burdened with the need to pray. So much has been going on in my own life and in the lives of those around me...it just breaks my heart to see the pain and suffering some of them have to go through.

Recently, my cousin and his wife suffered through their first miscarriage. I was slightly surprised at how much emotion it dredged up in me. Although I was slightly jealous of them for being pregnant with the first great-grandchild in the family, I would never ever wish a miscarriage on them. I wept when I found out....

Then, just a week ago, another dear friend of mine went through a miscarriage -- only 5 months after delivering a daughter still-born. Again...my heart felt like it was being wrenched out of my chest. I could do nothing but grieve and pray with and for them...

Youth group has been wearing on me emotionally as well. There have been several fights between some of the girls -- over very petty, superficial things. Things that they should know better than to fight about. I've had to have difficult discussions with some of them. I've been the big bad mean youth leader and had to enforce the rules. I've heard some horrible background stories from some of their lives. I've needed to be informed about awkward and shocking scenarios that happened in a Christian setting. Ugh. I wish I could just ground them all until they are ready to behave! But I can't. I can just pray.

There's been a cancer scare with one of my close friends. Tests will be happening soon to find out more information. It's unnerving...

I have a terribly irritating co-worker who I have to pray about constantly when I work with her. So that I don't yell. Or lock her in the vault at the bank. Or worse...

Baby Stellan, who I've mentioned before here, is going through some awful SVT times again. I can't imagine the struggle this must be for their family...

The Lord has really been impressing on me the importance of loving others -- truly loving them as Christ does. And, as it usually happens when the Lord convicts you of something, He has been showing me every way I have been failing in this area. Depressing. Discouraging.

My husband is laid off from his job, and has been since the beginning of May. There seems to be less and less of a chance of his company hiring him back at the end of the summer like we had originally hoped.

And, as always, my womb and my arms are empty. The ache of losing Hopie never goes away...and the wound is reopened every time another sweet friend gets pregnant or I start my cycle again. I'm still happy for them. It's just....hard.

However, as we've been studying in our Bible study recently, struggles are to be expected when you're a soldier for the Lord. I Peter 4:12 says:

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation."

And we are not without hope. All our hope is in the Lord. And He willingly carries all of our burdens, no matter how trivial or small. He alone can be trusted with them.

"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh...Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:7-11, 16-18

Bitty post

Phew...I'm exhausted tonight! Had a super long day with work and then filled with music activities in the evening (which is always fun, but a bit draining... :), but I wanted to share a quick prayer request.

I recently began reading MckMama's blog, mainly because it was mentioned both on Bring the Rain and Hope and a Future, two other blogs I read regularly. And I quickly fell in love with her beautiful photographs of her beautiful children and her simple, sweet spirit. Now her baby son is in danger -- he has a racing heartbeat and the doctors are unable to get it to tame down. If you think of it, please pray for them. (Updates can be found on MckMama's blog) I'm sure they would appreciate as many prayer warriors in battle for them as possible.

A lesson in trusting the Lord.

There are some days when I really need to be reminded that God is in control. And Thursday was one of them. I had spent the afternoon Christmas shopping with a girl from my youth group in a city about an hour away. I had a work Christmas party that night, so time was short and we were in a rush most of the afternoon to make it back in time for the party.

After I got home and was frantically changing into clothes for the party, I came to a dead stop in the middle of my kitchen when I looked down at my left hand. My engagement ring was missing!! As any normal married/engaged woman would do, I FREAKED OUT. I began running around like a chicken with its head cut off, frantically shaking through the clothes I had just changed out of, digging through the garbage and the bags of items I had come home with, and searching the corners of the floor and under hutches and shelving units. I definitely reached my heart rate for the day....

Because of my work party, I only had about 10 minutes to scour the little bit of my house that I had been in since getting home, so, needless to say, I didn't find anything. And decided I'd be better off going to the work party and then coming home to search more. That way I'd avoid being more upset at the party than I would have to be.

After what seemed like an agonizingly long dinner with my co-workers, I hurried home and began the search again. This time digging out my trusty Mag Lite flashlight and searching in every nook and cranny inside, digging through my purse, sweeping the floor, dumping all of my Christmas gifts out on the floor and shaking out the bags they were in, and practically crawling back and forth along our walkway outside (in 5 degree weather), as well as hunting through my car, car trunk, and the ground all around my car. All to no avail. I then called all four of the business that I had shopped in that afternoon, and gave them my phone number and the information regarding my ring. None of them had seen it or had anything turned in. I found myself in tears, terribly upset, and wanting nothing more than to talk to my Mom.

God knew what He was doing when He gave us mothers....she was able to listen to my dreadful story and sympathize with my raging emotions. And she prayed with me. Prayed that the Lord would be glorified through this somehow, and that He would direct us to the ring at just the right time. And that it would be a testimony of how great our God is and that He is in control of every detail of our mundane lives.

I finally decided to go to bed, after talking with my hubby, and he promised to help me look harder in the morning, when it was light out. Then he left for work (he works the night shift). So I was left to my own racing imagination and anxious ponderings of the outcome of my most precious gift of love. So I turned to the Lord. I begged Him to help us find it somehow, but I also asked Him to help me have a good attitude, regardless of the outcome. Even if *gulp* we never did find my oh-so-special ring that carried a hundred memories and was a public declaration of my husband's love and commitment to me. I also spent time focusing on verses such as:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Prov. 3:5-6

and

"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man."
Psalm 118:8

I also had a song running through my head from when I was a kid. The words to it say,

"When I am afraid I will trust in You, I will trust in You, I will trust in You. When I am afraid I will trust in You, in God whose Word I praise."

I found great comfort in these, and though it wasn't easy, I commited the fate of my ring to the Lord, and restlessly drifted to sleep.

The following morning I was having a rough time getting ready for work without tearing up at the thought of losing my ring for forever, and yet continually telling myself that it was just a material possession and not that important in light of my eternal destiny. As I was wrestling with myself mentally, Joe came home. He walked through the door saying my name in such a way that I knew something had happened. And indeed it had -- he had found my ring!! It's amazing really. After praying about our situation all night at work, he had come home, taken two steps from his car door, and "just happened" to look down at the ground and saw my ring. Amazing. God is soo incredibly good.

And it gets even better...

My mom had prayed about my situation after getting off the phone with me, and she had specifically asked the Lord to show her through what she read in the Bible that night whether or not I would find my ring, all the while feeling a little silly about asking God to do something so bold. So she opened her Bible, and her reading for that night was on the Shepherd and the Lost Sheep, and how he searched for it until He found it (Luke 15:4-7). Coincidence? I think not....God knew. And He led Joe's eyes just to the right spot to find it. And I am forever grateful to Him!!

And I plan on getting my engagement ring and wedding band sautered togehter as soon as possible....

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!