Waiting to Love

I haven't been posting much on here lately because frankly, there hasn't been much to say. We still have not received any news regarding our adoption process, and sometimes it's difficult to maintain a positive attitude and keep hoping. I called Laura (our social worker) a few weeks ago, hoping that perhaps someone had looked at our portfolio since the last time I called, since we have now been "in the books" for over 4 months. But no one has requested ours yet.

Hearing that put me in a bit of a funk. I was praying for a Christmas miracle, that maybe we would be holding our baby in our arms by Christmas day, which is a mere 3 days away. But I guess that's not in God's plan for right now.

Recently, we received an adoption devotional type book from Show Hope, an adoption organization founded by Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. It couldn't have come at a more perfect time. As I flipped through it, I read the introduction, a few of the intial devotions and some of the fundraising ideas. And then I got to a section entitled, "Lessons from the Wait: Adoptive parents share their experiences and lessons learned from the waiting process". I was intrigued -- could there be something there that would encourage me during this dismal time of waiting? The first entry was written by David and Christine Winters, a couple who had adopted domestically. I'm going to share some of what they had to say below:

    We have two biological daughters but had considered adoption for several years. Finally, we decided to learn and earnestly pray about adopting. A year after our process had begun we received the news that a birthmother had chosen us. They weren't sure of the due date but estimated late April or early May. Of course we were waiting expectantly by mid-April.
    We waited and waited and waited. April passed into May and went on into June with no call. We began to wonder if there was a change of plan, and we became weary of always telling people we had no news. Then on June 10, a Saturday morning, we got the call, loaded the van, and left Missoula, Montana for Seattle. We drove all day, got to the hospital, walked into a room, and they handed us our son. It all happened so fast we even forgot to take our camera with us.
    The Lord stretched us to trust and wait for Him. We were constantly waiting, wondering, doubting at times, and praying. At first our family was so excited; we were guessing what day we thought we'd get the call to go get our son, Isaac. But as the weeks passed we stopped that game. We had to cancel our vacation and lose a deposit; our anniversary got no attention that year, and we made many other changes. However, it came at the Lord's perfect time. We weren't concerned about the waiting once we held our boy. Then, in the hospital, a nurse said the ultrasound had predicted a due date of June 10, the exact day of his birth, but somehow the adoption agency never knew this fact. But we know the Lord knew, and He decided we should wait. We believe the Lord prepared our hearts to love this boy in the midst of the waiting.

What a thought - that the Lord is preparing our hearts right now to love our child...even as we wait. Sometimes life is all about perspective, and there couldn't have been a better time for me to read this.

So as we celebrate our Savior's birth this weekend by giving gifts to loved ones, we will wait patiently until the Lord gives us our own little gift. And in the end we will know that during all this time, He's been preparing our hearts to love our precious child.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

....a nursery!

We have been blessed by several gifts in the past few months - not only financially, but also materially. Our baby's room is really beginning to come together!

My Mom is getting Grandma fever, I think :)...and she bought us this adorable wall cling with birdies on it! There are 2 pink and 2 blue, so we can adjust them once we know whether it's a boy or a girl! :)



This may not look any different, but our crib finally has sheets and a mattress cover!! Yay! No more bare mattress showing through! :)

Joe's sister graciously gave us her Fisher-Price Papasan chair, as she is no longer needing it. It's in great condition and looks so comfy for our little one someday!

I have recently been signing up on various sites so that I can receive coupons for baby related items: diapers, clothing, formula, bottles, etc. I was shocked a few weeks ago when I received these three samples in the mail, plus several coupons and vouchers for up to $11 off of name brand products! What a blessing! Thankfully they don't expire until February or later, so I'm praying that we become a family of three before then!

And there's even more - though I don't have pictures to show them. Things like bottles, baby spoons, receiving blankets, changing pads, extra crib sheets, towels, and so on. We have been so blessed! Not to mention the financial support we've received from several dear friends....our words could never convey our thankfulness! God is so good :)

And, since I know you're all probably wondering....there hasn't been any more "news" from LSS. We are still waiting to get a phone call. For some reason, the fact that Christmas is around the corner is making me more impatient, but I'm trusting the Lord's timing and waiting for Him to write the ending to this exciting journey. If there's any news, I'll definitely be posting it here!!

Playing Tag

Has it really been a month and a half since I posted last? Sheesh. Somebody slap my hand!

Thank you. I feel much better now... :)

I promise to have a more adoption-baby related post up soon, but for now I just have something to show up on your blog roll. :)

Daphne, a friend of mine, recently tagged me on her blog, where she answered 8 Questions about herself that someone else had asked her. And now I get to join in the fun!! If I tag you at the end, you have to do a post on your blog and answer the questions listed! Enjoy!!

1. What is your current job? And is it what you always wanted to do?  
   I currently have 2 part-time jobs. I work as a bank teller at a small town bank 2 1/2 days a week. Definitely not what I've always wanted to do. I'm the girl who bawled on a weekly basis whenever I had to do Algebra. Math and I do NOT get along. That's why I take care of other people's finances...hehehe....just kidding! :)
      My second job is teaching piano and guitar lessons from my home - or at my church. It is not what I wanted to do - at least, not when I was younger, but in college I fell in love with the idea of offering private music lessons, and I've been loving it ever since!
2. What is one day of your life you wish you could relive?This is a tough one. Probably the day I got married -- it was one of those surreal days where everything was so wonderful and seemed calm (though it really wasn't!), and very special. But....the day that I and others from my church back home played hymns and praise songs in the living room of Kathleen Olson, my dear friend who passed away a few months ago, would be a close second. I wish I had said something more to her before I left - and I would have stayed and played longer.
3. What brings you joy?Jesus! :) He is the only one who truly brings me joy, though I also find joy through loving and respecting my husband, spending time with family, playing piano, and visiting with old friends.
4. What three words do you hope people use to describe you?Faithful. Humble. Passionate.
5. What is the last movie you saw?The Visitor -- and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would! It definitely has a message regarding immigration, but I enjoyed all the music references and the acting. (And Dad -- it has a djembe in it!! :)
6. What is the purpose behind your blog?Ha! Good question! I have several purposes with my blog, to stay connected with family, to challenge myself to write more, to share my faith, and to update people on our adoption story. Lately I've been focusing more on the adoption side...since it's the easiest way to keep people updated aside from facebook! :)
7. Do you have any Thanksgiving traditions?None of my own yet. But some traditions that I enjoy with my family are: pigging out on delicious food all of Thanksgiving day, sticking my fingers in black olives before eating them off my fingers, reflecting on what I'm thankful for (sometimes by making a list, through prayer, or in a conversation with someone else), and going to a movie Thanksgiving afternoon/evening.
8. What are you most thankful for?There is nothing I am more thankful for than the work that my Savior did on the cross for a stuck-up snob like me. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is life-saving, and has changed my life in more ways than I probably even know!

Now it's your turn -- if I tag you here, then you get the wonderful opportunity to answer these questions on your blog and tag someone else!

Tag -- you're it!
1. Josie: Doctor Pistachio
2. Charity: Conidering It All Joy
3. Aimee: Mischievious Meyers
4. Corrie: Freckles...I still got 'em
5. Mom & Dad: Twenty-Five And Counting...

And your questions are:
1. What is one of your fondest childhood memories?
2. What do you love most about your spouse/significant other?
3. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
4. What is your favorite book?
5. Who is someone you look up to, and why?
6. If you had unlimited funds and could plan a dream vacation, where would you go & what would you do?
7. What character traits do you have that are most like your mother? What ones are like your father?
8. What has been the biggest challenge you've faced this year?

Enjoy!!

Rock-a-bye Baby

Our "nest" is looking more and more ready for a baby birdy to fly in! :) Today Joe tackled the job of locating screws for the crib we've had sitting in the nursery. And now it's finally put together!! My heart skipped for joy when I walked into the baby's room and saw this:

Isn't it beautiful?? :)

You can also see a glimpse of our bassinett on the floor in front of it. I might share more on that in a future post... :) But for now, I'm just content seeing our child's bed completed and ready for him/her to come home!

Now all I need is to find some sheets!

Don't Fret, My Pet

Worry.

It's something that plagues us all, doesn't it?

This morning Joe and I talked about worrying...especially in light of all the big unknown changes looming in our near future. It's a sin I've struggled with since college, and maybe even before.

Yeah, that's right. I said sin.

As we talked, Joe gave me this definition:

"To worry is to make an assumption of something that has not happened yet."

So true! When you begin to analyze why worrisome thoughts creep into the back of your mind, it all comes down to assuming that the worst is going to happen in the future. I know I've done it - and written it off as a prayer request, or necessary for preparation, or some other nonsense. Lately, though, as the timeline of our future has been one big question mark, I've been convicted of how much worrying affects me.

I can waste away an entire evening, or even a weekend worrying about a future event. And it doesn't get me any closer to solving a problem that may not even exist in the first place! Time is precious, as the death of my dear friend Kathleen has taught me, and honestly, I don't have any time to waste by fretting! As Matthew 6:27 says, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" 

Worry can also skew my perspective. There have been several times in my life that I have joyfully, and naively, looked to the future. I'll be optimistically discussing a future path or decision when a well-meaning friend says, "Well, what if such and such happens?" And suddenly, I'm off kilter. Immediately I begin to grow anxious over that possibility, and try to create an emergency plan in my head for if that occurs. Is my gaze still on my Savior, trusting Him with all the intricacies of our future plan? No. I'm looking inward, hoping that I can come up with a solution to protect me from this future pothole in our plans. In fact, I may be looking so far forward that I forget to live in today! This is why Matthew goes on in verse 34 to say, "...do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So what is the solution? Well....I'm not perfect by any means, but Joe summed it up nicely for me. There are two ways we can actively fight against worry:

1. Give everything to the Lord.
This is where prayer comes in, my friends....conversing with our all-knowing Creator is the best way to relieve any worrisome thoughts. How can we fret when we're talking to the One who knows the end from the beginning?

2. Prepare
Yeah, yeah, yeah...it seems like I'm contradicting myself, but preparation in and of itself is not a bad thing! Preparation is an action. Worrying is an emotional hang up, kind of like a skipping CD - you keep turning the same things over and over in your mind, but you never get anywhere with it! Preparation is productive, and leads to things running (hopefully) smoothly.

The key is to do both. If you give it to the Lord, but don't prepare, you can miss out on opportunities the Lord may have for you. Plus, we are called to be stewards of what God has given us, which involves action, not just believing everything will turn out fine. And if you prepare, but don't give it to the Lord, you are relying on your own strength - which gives you a legitimate reason to worry! ;)

I'm the first to admit how difficult this is. I am by nature a planner...which often goes hand in hand with worrying. It's taken me a long time to get to the point that I can give something over to the Lord and trust Him with the result...and I definitely don't do it often enough! It seems that the Lord has been preparing me for some time for adoption in this way. Though I still worry (on a daily basis) about what might happen with a future birthmother, when we'll finally find the screws for the crib, or how quickly our baby will bond to us, I'm learning to lean on my ever faithful Savior, and trust Him with my hopes and dreams of the future.

And I'm better off because of it.

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'This is the way, walk in it'." Isaiah 30:21