And the verdict is...

(I apologize in advance for not calling or personally emailing more of you with this news, but I think you'll understand when you see the rest of this post! It's just a tad complicated....)

So...yesterday was the court date.  Here's what's happened so far:

• Birthfather was not present. This is good for us.
• Heather was not present either (she's still in the hospital).
• A new court date was set for April 6th.

However.....there have been a few interesting twists in the story.

Due to various factors, LSS will no longer be able to be involved with this adoption if Heather is not present in court April 6th. Instead, the state will be taking over, and Lydia will become a ward of the state. Typically, babies are removed from bridge care homes, and placed in state foster care homes when this happens.

But...

We have been given the option of being Lydia's foster care home, starting this Monday. There is still risk involved, as the state could choose to remove her from our home and place her in a different state foster care home, closer to the county that she was born in. But there is a better chance that they will allow her to stay in our home IF Heather is not able to terminate her parental rights on April 6th.

This means that IF the state allows Lydia to stay in our home, that we would have the option of adopting her later (as much as 15 months later), once the parental rights have been severed and everything has been wrapped up. There is a chance that it could be less time than that, but we won't know until we're in the middle of it.

Obviously this is a big decision to make, and we have spent a lot of time in prayer and talking with godly people that we love and respect before arriving at this point. As Joe and I discussed everything, we knew that we had to bring Lydia home. We just can't walk away. That's not how we roll. And honestly, at this point, we're already completely attached to Lydia and view her as our daughter already, so it would be just as hard to have her removed from the bridge care home as it would be to have her taken from our home.

We believe that it is important for Lydia to be in a loving home that is Christ-centered. And whether we get the chance to adopt Lydia in the end or not, this is the best choice for her.

Will it be difficult if things don't work out? Heck yeah!

Awful. Terrifying. Crushing.

But is it worth the risk? Of course!

Please be praying with us as we move forward....the plan is to pick Lydia up Monday afternoon -- finally....she'll be where she's belonged all along!! :)

Calling all prayer warriors!

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal. ~Isaiah 26:3-4


If you follow me on facebook, you may have noticed that I've stopped posting the days that remain until we bring Lydia home. And there's a reason for that, unfortunately...

On Thursday, Carrie called us and let us know that the birthfather had a translator contact the guardian ad litem for him, stating that he had chosen to change his mind regarding the adoption plan. Obviously, this has caused things to become rather complicated for us.

If that wasn't enough, Heather was also hospitalized earlier this week for post partum depression, and we aren't sure when she will be released yet. If the birthfather had not stepped in at all, we were looking at the possibility of having our court date postponed due to Heather's hospitalization.

The court hearing is still scheduled for this Thursday, the 17th. But obviously we have no idea what will be happening that day, exactly. As it stands, the birthfather is (as far as we know) living here illegally. I think this will affect whatever choices he makes in court (leading to possible deportation or at least arrest), but at this point, we're not exactly sure.

I wanted to let anyone know we may have missed, so you can be praying for us. We need your prayers so badly right now! It's been emotional for us and our families, but we are trusting God's sovereignty and the plan He has for Lydia and our lives.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 4:6-7

Here are some specific prayer requests:

• Pray for Heather to recover quickly and be released from the hospital by Monday. She still needs to meet with the guardian ad litem herself (for a required meeting) and if that's not done before the court date, it will have to be postponed (by about a month).
• Pray for the birthfather (Juan) to either
  a) Realize that he's making a foolish choice, and that he has a better chance of having a relationship with Lydia if he goes forward with the adoption plan.
  b) Grow lazy and not follow through with his words. If he is not present in some form at the court hearing on Thursday, he won't have any more options, since he has already signed the consent forms.
  c) Be gripped with fear of the law if he moves forward. (Fear of deportation, arrest, etc.)
• Pray for Lydia and Laurie, the Bridge Care mom who's taking care of her. Pray that they would be at peace throughout all of this. We chose not to visit Lydia this weekend because we knew our emotions would be easy for her to pick up on, and we want her to not have any added stress.
• Pray for us - for peace and strength. So far we have been blessed by the "peace that passes all understanding" that is found only in the Lord Jesus. I have moments of weakness where I fear the worst - but overall we are placing Lydia and our future in God's hands. He knows best.

Thank you for your prayers. Please know that as we have updates, we will share them.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. ~Romans 15:13

Doing what God wants

Tonight, Joe and I watched "Julie & Julia", a really sweet movie about Julia Child. At one point in the movie, Julia Child receives a letter from her sister, who has just found out that she's pregnant. Though Julia tries to stay strong, she breaks down into tears over the unfairness of it all as her husband holds her in his arms. She exclaims, "I'm so happy for her!" yet her body shakes with sobs.

I couldn't help but know exactly how that felt. In fact, as Joe glanced at me to make sure I was doing ok, I looked back at him and said, "I know how that feels. It sucks."

Have I mentioned that both of my sister-in-law's are pregnant?

Well, you can imagine that I reacted the exact same way as Julia did.

It has now been 2 1/2 years since we went off of birth control and began to actually try to have a family. One miscarriage later, we're still waiting. And though it's painful and "sucks", I don't expect the world to stop turning just because I can't have the baby I so desperately long for. People will continue to get pregnant. People will continue to have babies. Lots of them. And that's ok. This is where God has me, and it's His perfect plan for me.

Joe and I recently began reading the book "Just Do Something" by Kevin DeYoung. It has been challenging my perception of God's will, and reaffirming the fact that all of the things that have happened in the last year have had a purpose.

As Kevin talked about I Thessalonians 4:3 ("For this is the will of God, your sanctification."), I began to feel joy creep into my heart. Here's what he wrote:

"He [God] wants you to buy a house that will make you holy. If you marry, He wants you to get married so you can be holy. He wants you to have a job that will help you grow in holiness. Count on it: God's will is always your sanctification. He has set you and me apart that we would grow to be more like Christ." (emphasis mine)

What a relief! Though I've never thought of God as some sort of sadistic entity, seeking to cause me pain on a daily basis, I have at times wondered what in the world God is doing. Why is he preventing me from getting pregnant? What is the point of my unexplained infertility? Why is He allowing everyone else to get pregnant all around me? Why did he take away the one child I did get pregnant with? Why, why, why???

Because He longs to make me loving, pure, and humble like Christ. In a word, he wants me to be holy.

During the movie, a friend of mine called, wanting to make sure I was doing ok since she had heard about both of my SIL's being pregnant. She too is struggling with over a year's worth of infertility and all the different stages of grief that you go through. At one point in the conversation she commented, "Well, maybe we'll always be childless spinsters...but at least we'll be doing what God wants." I was struck by her faith in a dark time. I don't know that I could have honestly said that a year ago. But it's true - God's plan is so much better for us than our own.

And I'm eager to live it.